I don’t celebrate my ‘Blogoversary’. Instead- April 5th, 2010 is more significant to me because it was the day that everything changed. I know that having your first child is when things change-and it was. But this was REALLY, REALLY changing. Like holy heck what will we do-changing.
I was unfazed that this ultrasound was about two weeks late. I was a pro. I had been there and done that once already. I tried to be zen and relaxed and go with the flow-ish. I was going to show everyone in my ob’s office that I was cooler now. I wasn’t going to faint with every blood test. My reputation for the dramatics and theatrics wasn’t going to precede me for every appointment. I was going to be low key and forgettable this pregnancy. I was going to start that ‘new me’ with the first ultrasound, in fact.
When we arrived I was calm. I said my hellos to the receptionists. Oh yes, I was back! Haha- this time I wasn’t going to be such a pain. Haha no- I wasn’t going to prep every nurse before every poke or prick and tell them how I was going to have to lie down during and be allowed to stay in the dark room an additional 15 minutes afterwards with a cool rag to ‘recover’. Oh no. I was used to needles now. That girl who needed a Valium to get her preconception blood screening done and chickened out in the parking lot? Oh she was long gone. I was a veteran– after having my first, one, and only child via a c- section. Yep. I was going to be nondescript.
I always loved the idea that the drama of us humans is owed to the Greek gods and goddesses up there on Mt. Olympus screwing with us [me] for their own entertainment. I loved this idea- but April 5th 2010 made it seem like it really was happening. That they were all up there about to play a big old joke on yours truly. Imagine you’re told you’re having twins when you have a one year old in your arms.
I mean, omg, right?
I remember being in the room with the tech, my husband and a very squirmy B. I remember getting on the table and her explaining the procedure. I assured her that I knew since I was an ‘expert’ after having done this before and we just wanted to make sure everything was a-ok.
I remember lying there- in that precarious position- looking at my toddler- and just saying a quick prayer that this baby would be ok. We had been so lucky with him and getting pregnant with ease. Here we were again- could lightening strike twice? As he started to fuss, I grew impatient and it seemed like it was taking her too long to just tell me everything was ok. I tried to joke with her and said- ‘I just want you to tell me everything’s alright. And that there’s only one of them in there, ok?’ heh.
She looked at me, then back at the screen- and in that split second I was sure that something was wrong. I felt about a millisecond of relief when she simply turned the screen over to me and said ‘Well-everything looks ok- ARE YOU READY? It’s twins!‘. At first I didn’t think I heard her correctly. I heard that everything was ok- BUT, um, what was that second part she said again?! My husband just started laughing and saying ‘No way!’ over and over and over. I kept looking at the screen in disbelief and said- ‘Wait- wait! What’s the date! Isn’t it April 1st? Isn’t it? ISN’T IT????!!!!’
No. No, it was not April 1st. This was not a joke. I began to cry. I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to punch my husband who was still saying ‘No way!’ over there. I said ‘Oh my god what are we going to do’ about a million times. You see, we live about 12 hours from our families and had really just a a few friends locally. We were jumping from one kid to three kids in the blink of an eye. I couldn’t believe it. On top of all this a little bit of terror started to creep in as well considering I had a scary flirtation with preeclampsia with my son- was in the hospital and on bed rest the final two weeks of my pregnancy. I was sure that a twin pregnancy was going to be a health hazard for me (I turned out to be correct) and freaked out. I started to hyperventilate. People were asking me if I was ok. There went my plan to be the nondescript patient. My tech left and went to get a doctor- too late. Everyone was gone for the day. We’d have to come back and see about our referral to the multiples/high risk doc. My world went topsy-turvy and inside out. I would never be able to do it. There was no freaking way.
Well..way. Here we are today with the dudes at 17 1/2 months old and we’re still alive. A little worse for wear- but we’ve made it so far. What kind of surprise was this?! Greek gods be damned. I will always consider April 5th 2010 the day that changed my life completely- for someone who doesn’t like surprises, well- I liked that one.
I started blogging on Blogger and you can see my first post here.
If you’re a mom of multiples, how did you find out? What was your ultrasound day like? I’d love to hear about it!