Character Assassination Carousel- My Friend Rabbit

by farrah on June 4, 2012 · 14 comments

Here I am! It’s my turn to rip a new one into a beloved children’s story! I’m participating today in the Character Assassination Carousel by the delightful and stealth Ninja Mom. Each month she hosts one of her blogger friends as they put their children’s story of choice on the bulls-eye.

Previously on this crazy ride was  Naptime Writing doing what had to be done to ‘If You Give A Mouse A Cookie’. Go check out the list of others that have contributed- and holy wow- the Wait In The Van take on ‘Love You Forever’? Creep-tastic! Now it’s my turn to blow one of my boys favorites to smithereens. Be sure to check in next month with Mel at According to Mags. I am excited to see what she annihilates in July!

The Story

If you’re not familiar with ‘My Friend Rabbit‘, consider yourself lucky. It’s a story that heavily relies on the award winning drawings- and is told in  fewer than 100 words. For whatever reason, my boys ADORE this story. Love it to a point that I have taken this book and hidden it away in a drawer so that I don’t have to read it anymore. I hate it. Rabbit makes me angry.

I’m sure it would be nice to see the original images of the story- but I prefer to show you the condition of our copy. That said, here’s my assassination of  Rabbit and his idiot ideas.

 

  

“…trouble follows”.  That’s the sentence that is repeated in the book. That, and ‘Not to worry, Mouse! I’ve got an idea!’

 Ok. So it’s ok to screw up. It’s also ok to be ‘that person’ that screws up. But I cannot help but be irritated at someone or something who screws up repeatedly and drags everyone down with them. Or worse… drags them down and yet manages to remain unscathed. This, dear readers, would be Rabbit.

What mother wouldn’t cringe at hearing her child say ‘Not to worry! I’ve got an idea!’ to their sibling?? The gist of this story is that Rabbit has a toy airplane. He has a friend name mouse. Rabbit throws his airplane into a tree- and without using any logical methods approaching his conflict (oh say, maybe asking a squirrel, a bird, ANYTHING REASONABLE) to help get his plane- he decides to stack the largest animals he can find on top of each other to reach this airplane that is stuck in the tree. Oh yeah. Because that makes total sense.

I realize this is a children’s story, but unless he lives in a zoo I am not sure where he would get a hippo, alligator, bear, elephant and rhino on such short notice, as well as aforementioned animals that do not automatically kill one another on sight. Don’t they all love to eat rabbit? How does he get away with this? More importantly- WHY DO THEY LET HIM HUMILIATE THEM? Logic. I need logic. Even in my children’s stories.

You have to wonder if Rabbit wasn’t a real person he would be that kid in high school who would do things like drink a full bottle of Tabasco sauce for money (I knew someone who did this) or jumped off the elementary school on a dare. What happens to these people? Personally I think they’re the ones wandering around the grocery store with glazed over eyes post-lobotomy- in my way, too oblivious to move.

So of course when all of the animals collapse on top of each other- and Rabbit and Mouse get away in the plane…Rabbit’s going to screw it up. You know he is. And so help me if one of my children have a friend like this (or worse- ARE that child! Linc I am looking at YOU) I will absolutely put my foot down and say HELL NO. You may NOT be friends with Johnny because I know it will come back to bite me in the behind.

Their escape, however, is short lived. Because with these kinds of people that screw up all the time- another faux paux isn’t far down the road. By the end of the story Rabbit has crashed the plane yet again, and- you guessed it- has another brilliant idea.

(Notice the ring in the middle of the cover- it’s a breast milk bottle from 3 years ago…awww…)

Oh this story grates on my last nerve. Thank you Ninja Mom for letter me release some of my anger. I just might return this book back to the pile soon.

Tell me about a children’s book or story that drives you absolutely nuts!

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Ninja Mom June 4, 2012 at 3:42 pm

I already have four “problem solvers” in my house. I certainly don’t need Rabbit showing them how to “fix” things, thankyouverymuch.

Excellently assassinated! And I’ve discovered another book to avoid, you’re pretty much a superhero.

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2 farrah June 5, 2012 at 12:03 am

Then my job here is done! So glad I could help. Avoid this book and impressionable young children at all costs :)

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3 Yum Yucky June 4, 2012 at 6:51 pm

hahaha! I never head of this book before but I like it. Yet carry on with your assassination. No problem.

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4 farrah June 5, 2012 at 12:04 am

LOL! The pics are cute. Maybe what I should do is change the words when I read it to them?

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5 Jennifer June 4, 2012 at 8:37 pm

I can’t tell you how many times I almost purchased that book and then snuck it back on the shelf when a kiddo wasn’t looking :)

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6 farrah June 5, 2012 at 12:04 am

You are very wise!

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7 just keep swimming June 4, 2012 at 11:32 pm

That is a well loved book. Are your kids going to forgive you when they are old enough to read your assassination? Nicely done!

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8 farrah June 5, 2012 at 12:05 am

They might hold it against me forever..sort of like how I bought them all the same (as in exact same) t shirt at Target. But hey, I’m mom. I rule. And thank you!

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9 kerryb June 4, 2012 at 11:54 pm

OI have one called “Ihate my Bow” I understand what the book is trying to say but a kid doesn’t. All they hear is “Hate.”
It goes someting like “i hate my pretty bow, i hate my bath, I hate my chain (it’s abut a dog tied up to a chain, clean with a bow in his hair), I hate that baby (the baby wants to play), I hte that cat. (then some dogs run by and he asks if he can play but whe he does he is attached to the chain. So the story then goes on ” those dogs won’t play with a dog, who gets a bath, with a bow and a chain. Come her baby and take thi pretty chain, come here cat and take this pretty bow. (and then the baby dog and cat all play together and get muddy) then the dog says “I lov my friends.”
The girls love it! But then they say things like I hate my bow and people look at me crazy.
Some books are just awful!

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10 farrah June 5, 2012 at 12:07 am

OOOHHHNNOOOOO! As I was reading your response I could hear B saying ‘I hate this..I hate that…’ etc. That’s terrible. This book just gets on MY nerves- but you really need to check out the other ones that people have done- they’re AWFUL!

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11 Kristen June 5, 2012 at 1:02 am

Oh! Great job girl!!! This book reminds me of Caillou – which I LOATHE…. – because he’s always whining about something or another. Anyway – yes. I’m totally with you. Oh, and I moved an area rug the other day and guess what I found on the floor?!? A ring!!! No lie!!! xo

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12 Naptimewriting June 6, 2012 at 6:17 am

Such a public service. I will never, *never* let my children see this model of terrible behavior.

Phew. Bullet dodged. I bow to you.

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13 Kelley June 7, 2012 at 2:57 am

Ha! I don’t know this book, but now I feel like I do! I won’t be buying it. :) I found you from Nicole’s blog. Glad I did!

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14 hollow tree ventures June 11, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Thank you for saving me from this one! I can just see my kids, after reading that book, deciding it would be a swell idea to stack all their stuffed animals and the couch cushions and the kitchen chairs up to try to get some candy out of the top cabinet. Not only dangerous, but what if they actually got to the candy? I can’t have them eating my emergency stash. ;)

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