Here I am! It’s my turn to rip a new one into a beloved children’s story! I’m participating today in the Character Assassination Carousel by the delightful and stealth Ninja Mom. Each month she hosts one of her blogger friends as they put their children’s story of choice on the bulls-eye.
Previously on this crazy ride was Naptime Writing doing what had to be done to ‘If You Give A Mouse A Cookie’. Go check out the list of others that have contributed- and holy wow- the Wait In The Van take on ‘Love You Forever’? Creep-tastic! Now it’s my turn to blow one of my boys favorites to smithereens. Be sure to check in next month with Mel at According to Mags. I am excited to see what she annihilates in July!
If you’re not familiar with ‘My Friend Rabbit‘, consider yourself lucky. It’s a story that heavily relies on the award winning drawings- and is told in fewer than 100 words. For whatever reason, my boys ADORE this story. Love it to a point that I have taken this book and hidden it away in a drawer so that I don’t have to read it anymore. I hate it. Rabbit makes me angry.
I’m sure it would be nice to see the original images of the story- but I prefer to show you the condition of our copy. That said, here’s my assassination of Rabbit and his idiot ideas.
“…trouble follows”. That’s the sentence that is repeated in the book. That, and ‘Not to worry, Mouse! I’ve got an idea!’
Ok. So it’s ok to screw up. It’s also ok to be ‘that person’ that screws up. But I cannot help but be irritated at someone or something who screws up repeatedly and drags everyone down with them. Or worse… drags them down and yet manages to remain unscathed. This, dear readers, would be Rabbit.
What mother wouldn’t cringe at hearing her child say ‘Not to worry! I’ve got an idea!’ to their sibling?? The gist of this story is that Rabbit has a toy airplane. He has a friend name mouse. Rabbit throws his airplane into a tree- and without using any logical methods approaching his conflict (oh say, maybe asking a squirrel, a bird, ANYTHING REASONABLE) to help get his plane- he decides to stack the largest animals he can find on top of each other to reach this airplane that is stuck in the tree. Oh yeah. Because that makes total sense.
I realize this is a children’s story, but unless he lives in a zoo I am not sure where he would get a hippo, alligator, bear, elephant and rhino on such short notice, as well as aforementioned animals that do not automatically kill one another on sight. Don’t they all love to eat rabbit? How does he get away with this? More importantly- WHY DO THEY LET HIM HUMILIATE THEM? Logic. I need logic. Even in my children’s stories.
You have to wonder if Rabbit wasn’t a real person he would be that kid in high school who would do things like drink a full bottle of Tabasco sauce for money (I knew someone who did this) or jumped off the elementary school on a dare. What happens to these people? Personally I think they’re the ones wandering around the grocery store with glazed over eyes post-lobotomy- in my way, too oblivious to move.
So of course when all of the animals collapse on top of each other– and Rabbit and Mouse get away in the plane…Rabbit’s going to screw it up. You know he is. And so help me if one of my children have a friend like this (or worse- ARE that child! Linc I am looking at YOU) I will absolutely put my foot down and say HELL NO. You may NOT be friends with Johnny because I know it will come back to bite me in the behind.
Their escape, however, is short lived. Because with these kinds of people that screw up all the time- another faux paux isn’t far down the road. By the end of the story Rabbit has crashed the plane yet again, and- you guessed it- has another brilliant idea.
(Notice the ring in the middle of the cover- it’s a breast milk bottle from 3 years ago…awww…)
Oh this story grates on my last nerve. Thank you Ninja Mom for letter me release some of my anger. I just might return this book back to the pile soon.
Tell me about a children’s book or story that drives you absolutely nuts!