Brother Bicker

by farrah on June 3, 2013 · 9 comments

I went to bed last night right after we put the boys down. C was up probably three or four times afterward (we’re trying to stop the constant presence in their room till they fall asleep thing) and I went to bed- completely exhausted. Saturday they went to the gym with dad and then we rode bikes to Tilburg. Sunday we drove to Antwerp to check out the zoo and central area, and then came home to Oisterwijk and shopped on our one-Sunday-a-month where everything’s open. Doesn’t sound that busy- but oh my aching body begs to differ.


You know that old saying- ‘Idle hands are the Devil’s workshop’? There are days and weekends I feel like we apply that to our lives just to avoid the ‘workshop’. This was one of those weekends and from the start we were off doing things to keep the boys occupied, happy and from driving me crazy with their bickering.

Because that’s where we are folks… bickering-ville. I can’t stand it, every single thing under the sun creates brotherly drama at every which turn. When we’re all at home- it’s almost like an egg timer goes off to set the next round of tears and tantrums flying.

It is a little less intense when B isn’t around- he’s at school three full days a week. But oh. The times he is home there is nothing but bickering. When you have three kids within 18 months in age of each other- this is a given, right? Does anyone have kids who harmoniously play in peace? You know what- forget that. I don’t want to know. Really.

Thankfully, that’s all it is. There aren’t any knock down drag out fights (I’m sure those are ahead) but the constant nit picking over this and that is enough to drive me over the edge. The sound of their whines, cries and yells at the next injustice grate on me and turn me into that Mother Yeller that I just do not want to be.

My sister and I bickered and fought for as long as I can remember- so I think back to how my parents involved themselves in those battles and can’t decide if what they did was best. They interfered- I interfere. I don’t think it does any good for anyone though. Not sure of the best way to handle this, so it’s a work in progress. If anyone has any advice for me I am more than willing to listen!


At the end of the day (or the end of the moment, I suppose) I know that they do love each other and are currently the best of friends. When we drop B off at school each morning, he has to embrace each brother and kiss him goodbye. It’s sweet and something I know won’t last much longer (ha! can you imagine?!). L & C talk about B all day- and often wake from their nap saying ‘Time to get Brody!’ which is touching and ironic at the same time. More often than not the second we walk in the door there’s a battle over who has which train, cup, scooter……..and on it goes.

How do you handle bickering amongst your children? 

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Amy Baserman June 3, 2013 at 8:31 am

Oh Farrah! I think our households still sound the same. There are times where I here both Abigail and Isaiah scream, cry and hit from another room I think to myself “what if I just let them figure it out,” I just don’t want to referee another trivial-to me at least-fight. However, I walk into every time, disciplining then making one apologize to the other. Exhausting.


2 farrah June 3, 2013 at 2:22 pm

It’s insane. And I think that my interfering is doing them a complete disservice. Plus a huge time suck on my part.


3 Stephanie June 3, 2013 at 1:01 pm

I let them figure it out until/unless they try to solve the problem with teeth.


4 farrah June 3, 2013 at 2:22 pm

I’m going with this today. So far it worked.


5 Leighann June 3, 2013 at 3:09 pm

that picture of the feet is adorable.
we only have one, so the nit picking with siblings isn’t something I’m familiar with, but I soooo relate to whining.
I plan ignore or re-direct. Idol hands… just like you said.


6 farrah June 4, 2013 at 6:42 am

Whining is universal! It’s awful no matter how many you have 🙁


7 Kerry B June 4, 2013 at 1:27 am

OH FARRAH! I hear ya girl. Rainy days are the worst because like your boys they need to get out of the house. I ignore, send to their room, yell, cry, make that scream. It’s so difficult but you are right as long as they love each other!


8 farrah June 4, 2013 at 6:43 am

Our stairs are a death trap. I wish I could say ‘Go to your room!’ but alas. I have to follow behind them to make sure they don’t slip lol. Kind of takes the drama out of it.


9 Kari June 6, 2013 at 3:44 pm

Oh, I am so right there with you. I have a daughter who is 8 and twin boys that are 7 (12 months between) and it can be a real drag. It doesn’t get less, but the bickering is just about differnet things that, to me, are just idiotic. Like one argument was over one of the boys saying my daughter’s name. Just insane…..the horror of hearing your name come out of someone else’s mouth. All he did was say her name. Sheesh….that was the day that I told them I am just going to give them all new, secret names 🙂 I wish, right?


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