Between Two Farrahs

by farrah on May 21, 2014 · 10 comments

From hosting visitors, catching up on my shows (GOT and The Killing), attempting to read 5 books at once and – well, being a parent, I’ve let ye olde blog slide. The weather is just too nice to be sitting in front of a screen, so I thought I’d do a little ‘Between Two Ferns‘ style interview to catch you up on my RIVETING life. I’m sure if Zach Galifianakis was asking the questions it would be better, but meh. It’s the best I can do.

Fern on fern

The Imaginary Interview: ‘Between Two Farrahs’

F1: So Farrah, where have you been? We’re used to you posting a few times a week and there’s been basically nothing as of late.

F2: (laughs) Yeah, I know. Busy these days. Aren’t we all?

F1: (laughs) Oh yes, I know how that goes. (sips coffee). So tell me, what’s on your plate?

F2: Well.. (clears throat) I’ve been a little crazy with the house, the kids, and life in general. You know the basics. 

F1: Uh huh. I get it. You go out shopping all day. So what’s up with the housing situation?

F2: We have the SC house closing on the 28th. My husband and I spent almost an hour at the local notary this morning waiting for our signed documents to be stamped. Makes me feel better about the fact that we’re not buying over here. I CANNOT imagine the bureaucracy with that!

F1: Oh I hear you there! I’ve heard about how much the Dutch love their paperwork! But really, I’m sure you’re driving your husband nuts with insane housing demands anyhow.

F2: Uh, yeah, it’s intense. Also, I am obsessively (and I should say straight up stalker-ly) looking for other rentals in our neighborhood. I check my Funda app more than Facebook. I cannot stop with the hope that there will be something somewhere nearby. But then what? We can’t do anything ’till October anyhow. (shrugs).

F1: Cry me a river. Really. Have you heard of ‘first world problems’? Ok, so tell me, you’re no longer in diapers. How’d you do it? Oh, and can you get Speed Stick deodorant in the Netherlands? Or is it Holland? And why is it both?!

F2: NO. We’re FREE! And let me tell you- that was probably one of the least fun things we’ve ever experienced. I wasn’t used to pushing the boys- or asking them if they had to go, or looking for the ‘signs’. B waited so long he self-trained so I figured that would happen here too. Ah, no. With twins it is not so simple! Now I am simply resigned to never again having a clean, urine-stain-free toilet and I never assume the seat will be down. It’s the price to pay for no more dipes though, and I think I feel downright liberated. And I have no idea. To both of your last questions. 

F1: That’s pretty disgusting. So you guys have a lot of company. Who’s next at Chez Ritter?

F2: We have a delightful family of US expats living in Bamberg coming to visit next month. They are happy with laying low and getting a woodsy/village experience so that’s exactly what I have planned for them. It’s not too hard in Oisterwijk! Our Irish friends had a great time and we could not have had better weather to impress them with- and my dad’s visit also went really well. I’m excited to write my last post in our Normandy trip- specifically on our D-Day tour and experience, however I can’t post it just yet. My goal is to have it up by June 6th, the anniversary itself.

F1: Ah yeah, you’re Normandy Adventure. We all saw the Instagrams (sighs, twiddles thumbs). You know it’s really kind of shallow to only post when you go on a vacation, right? Because that kind of seems to be exactly what you do.  So what’s the summer look like for you guys? Going anywhere? Hahahah, of course you are. You’re always off gallivanting to somewhere you jet-setter!

F2: Well, I don’t know about that, I mean, we don’t exactly go the luxury route or anything. And we’re basically going as far distance-wise as anyone in the US. It’s just that the countries are smaller here and easier to get to, you know? But of course I take our personal nannies along to help (laughs).

F1: Hahahahha!

F2: No, but seriously, the boys are in school until mid-July and we’re going back to the Dordogne region in France where we went last year. It’s a wonderful family B&B and we really felt comfortable there. Besides there are dinosaur parks and things like that too so it made everyone happy. I’m just glad this year we know that the a/c works in the car.

F1: Oh that’s right! It was really hot and you guys had to drive through Paris and all that in the heat wave for 10 hours with no a/c. Must really have been a nightmare. Driving through France. And stopping in Paris. I feel for you.

F2: Yeah. That was lots of fun. After that we have a few weeks- I’m going back to Michigan for my 20th high school reunion and then I come back, I think the grandparents are coming to visit- so my husband and I might sneak a weekend away in there and then boom! The kids are back in school. October I’m heading to Greece but otherwise that’s it. 

F1: Oh that’s it, huh?

F2: Yeah, I know it sounds pretentious which is the last thing I’d ever want to sound, but yeah. That’s it. We’re happy to have more time over here so it’s nice to not feel rushed in we HAD to see everything we could this summer in case it was our last. 

F1: Well, I have to say, this was probably the most boring interview I’ve ever done in my life.

F2: Yeah. I can see that. 


I hope you’re familiar with Between Two Ferns and Zach Galifianakis, because if not, this post will make absolutely zero sense. 

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Elizabeth May 21, 2014 at 6:54 pm

Shout out! Yay!! Oh, and Madison is recently into GOT. She is on season three!


2 farrah May 22, 2014 at 9:33 am

She’d really enjoy reading the books too. I actually watched season 1, then read all of the books. It was extremely helpful as there are so many characters! I’d usually never ever ever suggest this method either (former English teacher talking) but it worked fantastically here. 🙂

And ps, can’t wait for you guys to get here!


3 Elizabeth May 22, 2014 at 12:24 pm

I had no ideas the series came from books! I’ll be sure to tell her!


4 Amy May 22, 2014 at 6:18 am

France, Greece…no big deal. Girl, your travel schedule is the best.


5 farrah May 22, 2014 at 9:34 am

I know, aren’t I fancy?

And you forgot to mention ‘Michigan’ in there. Because, um, THAT is exotic!


6 Julia May 22, 2014 at 11:40 am

Oh the potty training. I thought we were done around here, that we were finally free and then he reverted and refused to #2 in the potty last weekend, which was messy. Now we are starting over with lots and lots of reminders and time sitting on the potty. I feel like we are kinda stuck at home because if he has to go he won’t go anywhere else and he will hold it in till the end of the day. I hate potty training, some day I’ll have a future that doesn’t involve talking about the toilet, right? A girl can dream.


7 farrah May 26, 2014 at 1:53 pm

Every day is another adventure. At this point I’m not even going to write about it because I am SO SICK of even thinking about it at this point. One of the boys can’t aim in the potty to save his life and I am constantly cleaning up the walls/floor/etc. I am OVER it.


8 Chamisa May 24, 2014 at 2:40 pm

Glad to hear I had another parent in the potty training trenches these past weeks. We potty trained the youngest right after we got back from Croatia. I’m thinking in our next place that I should somehow paint a bulls eye inside the toilet bowl to help with aiming. But I have zero ideas for keeping the seat down…


9 farrah May 26, 2014 at 1:54 pm

I think I am totally at a loss in that one. 4 males in the house? Yeah, pretty sure I can kiss the seat down goodbye 🙂


10 SJ @ Chasing the Donkey May 29, 2014 at 8:26 pm

Hooray I am all caught up on your Farrah. No diapers..???!! What will you do with all those extra euros? All of your plans sounds wonderful (A/C included), but most of all I like the sound of Greece… xo


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