Out of the Weeds

by farrah on September 4, 2014 · 9 comments

As I start to type this it’s 4pm on a Wednesday and I am almost finished making dinner. I am about to serve it to the boys so that the kitchen is cleaned and everyone is fed in time for soccer by 6. However, the really bizarre thing here is how I got to this place. No, it’s not because I am some kind of super awesome time management guru- I’m not. I’m currently kind of sitting here going ‘what the hell just happened?’.


We are on our second week of school. In that time, I feel like the boys have suddenly fast forwarded and I’m left behind going what about me?. They don’t need me nearly as much as they used to. I’m sure any mother who had multiple small children at once- knows the feeling of being ‘in the weeds’. Basically that you’re on the brink of drowning on a daily basis and just doing your best to keep your head above water. I feel like that’s where I have been for the past few years- and here I am on the brink of coming ashore.

It’s really weird. I’m not feeling this euphoric I’M FREE! feeling (although I am sure that will come in time) but more along the lines of Now What?

So in the matter of the past week I have thrown myself into language learning. I signed up for a free online thing called Duolingo (which is actually pretty fun) and am giving Dutch a go, as well as brushing up on my Spanish. Empty hours of the day while the boys are playing together (amazing) I do what I promised myself I would do when we moved over. But I never thought I’d have the time. Now that I am on the brink of having the time it’s all kind of strange.

It’s only going to get more weird next month when the twins start school full-time. I won’t be back and forth back and forth a million times a day dropping off and picking up. They’re all going to be on the same schedule. Fortunately, this will also be the time when we’ve moved into the ‘new’ house, so I can distract myself with that for a little while. There’s gym next door (literally, it is the next door to our house) which I am toying with the idea of joining. I also still want to get back into yoga.

So many things I want- but I promise you if I was back in the States I’d be looking for a simple little part-time job. Here I feel like it’s too difficult for me to find work because of the language- and on top of that I don’t even know how to go about it. So, I suppose I’ll do housewifey, SAHM things without throwing in the pumpkin spice latte since there isn’t a Starbucks around for miles.

On top of all of this, the final two decided to kiss nap time goodbye. It makes for a much longer day- hence why yesterday I had dinner ready by 4:30. So this is all new to me and really strange. I know it’s the thing all mothers experience sooner or later- but I never really thought it would be ‘my’ turn. Five years is a long time to be in the weeds, and to finally emerge from the jungle is disorienting to say the least.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jen September 4, 2014 at 12:07 pm

I had the same problem when we moved into our new house last December, I had been driving a 30 mile round trip twice a day to take the kids to their new school, we live down the block now, and I was spending the morning waiting for the youngest to get out of school before driving him home for lunch, so me and Starbucks were good friends. Now I’m still rattling around my first ever big grown up house, wondering what to do with myself (yes cleaning should be what I’m doing but pshhh to that!). When they’re both in full-time school next fall I’m going to be lost.


2 farrah September 5, 2014 at 7:00 am

It’s such a bizarre feeling! I’m right there with you. And pshhh to cleaning is my vote too 🙂


3 Gayla September 4, 2014 at 1:04 pm

Congrats to you for lining up some projects to keep you busy!! Best of luck met je Nederlands 🙂


4 farrah September 5, 2014 at 7:00 am

Bedankt! Ik prober! 🙂


5 Leighann September 4, 2014 at 2:33 pm

you’re doing a great job! Mine just went to school for the first time too and I’m finding this new freedom, even though I work. I still find she’s more independent and I’m not sure what to do with myself.


6 farrah September 5, 2014 at 7:01 am

It’s so funny isn’t it? On the bright side I seem to have many mama friends near and far who are going through this with me, which makes it more normal.


7 Ann September 4, 2014 at 7:11 pm

Even though S is younger, I kind of feel like that time will be here soon. She’ll start attending school for as long as W is gone during the day – and her and W play together pretty well these days. I considered other options, but it just didn’t make sense since there’s an option for her right where he is.

I started doing Duolingo after I saw you link to it and I think it’s fun. I love doing it when W’s home because he laughs at my German. And I actually joined the gym right next door to me last week. They have a free coffee and water (with add-ins) bar!


8 farrah September 5, 2014 at 7:02 am

So glad! I hope that the more people I have on there to follow and keep tabs on their progress the better off I’ll be.

I think that’s really going to be good for you and S too. You made a great choice. I don’t think this gym has a cafe tho 🙁


9 Jennifer F- American Mom in Bordeaux September 5, 2014 at 8:18 pm

Love this post! Even though my girls are older now…I still had that feeling up until we moved here. (My youngest was 4 when we arrived). I had worked full time in the States – so my free time was work and the rest was “kid time on weekends, evenings etc..”. Juggling 3 schedules and 3 different ages was and is still interesting. I felt a different kind of “in the weeds” here when we arrived – the cultural adjustment & the “who I am” if I’m not working adjustment. Still feeling like I’m reinventing myself – but finding my niche with blogging, writing and now tour guiding. So we are back to the juggle!!

Yes, our lives mirror a bit as we are moving in a few weeks too – also not too far away – still in the same town…but YUCK, YUCK – I HATE moving!!! I think after we have both moved – you and I need to set up a Skype Coffee time!! Have a good month!


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