On Being Relevant. Or Not.

by farrah on January 5, 2016 · 6 comments

I know. It’s been forever since I’ve written anything. I’ve gone round and round with myself and what I wanted to do with The Three Under- and I finally came down to it- I don’t care to try to be relevant anymore. Not like I really ever was, mind you. I know there are a ton of voices in the expat/travel blogging world. But I tried to be. Ok, well correction- I *sorta* tried to be. I joined writing link ups, contributed to a post here and there, and even dilly dallied with contributing to other websites. Truth be told- my heart wasn’t in it. It was never in it- and I ended up making myself stressed out and guilty over not writing or worse- not writing well.

That was dumb.

Additionally- over the past year or so it really started to sink in over who the people are in my life that I need to be relevant FOR. Blogging- specifically my blogging, was not something that supported my family financially. It was never intentioned to do so- and by making half ass attempts at monetization or ‘partnering’ with brands etc. was kind of lame on my part. I never got on board with on-site advertising, I didn’t feel legit writing up smarmy posts singing praises, and overall, I didn’t like it much.

I don’t like deadlines and perfection since I am a person who doesn’t thrive with either. I’m ok with that and it’s about time that I let my blog be ok with that too. So, in breaking with the numerous blogging FB groups that I have been avoiding anyhow- I also decided that if I want to blog I can do it however the hell I want- but I’m not going to a) expect anything out of it and b) do it to be relevant to people who already find it as such.

I removed my sharing icons. My Pinterest participation was already laughable since I was too lazy to make my photos ‘pinnable’ and my Twitter presence has been reduced to a couple of check ins on the Dutch lady who really enjoys telling me what and how I should be doing things. I’m not going to be sharing my blog posts on my blog’s FB page any longer. What’s the point? If you care enough to read this blog you probably subscribe by email. Who am I to shove it down your throat on all other forms of social media? I just told you that I don’t really feel I’m relevant- so why in hells bells would I be standing on a soapbox shouting it to anyone who might listen? It’s not in me, and I don’t fault others who do put in an effort- it’s just.not.me.

So I decided I’ll keep the FB page open, share what I want to when I want and if people read it and keep it around, cool. I really DO want to keep documenting the travels that we do- but I’m no longer going to receive or seek out pitches on comps/discounts/stuff/etc. I actually had two flirtations at the end of the year with brands- one gave me the runaround and I dumped them- and the other I decided I didn’t want to make the trip anything but a treat since that’s what it was supposed to be in the first place (thanks to Robin for pointing that fact out- you kind of rocked my world with that perspective!).

Thus going forward- any place, item, website, whatever I talk about is ALWAYS straight from a non sponsored point of view. I don’t entertain any advertising inquiries and have updated my ‘advertising’ blurb as such. I’m not blogging for any reason other that I have to get stuff out of my head now and then or I will explode.  I’m also not a new expat any more so it seems king of disingenuous to put together full posts on stuff I can simply share in quick blurbs on FB. My kids aren’t babies and like you really need another mom blog to tell you all about how I’m parenting or not parenting and how I’m ‘living in the present’. Or how I do live in the…uh, past? Or whatever.

So anyhow. That’s that. If you peek in now and then awesome! If not- believe me I get it and I’ll miss you. I’ll be pontificating on the random observations of Dutch life and adventures here and there- so all in all not much will change except maybe my frequency will be upped a bit. Hopefully!

Here’s to great things in 2016 for all of us, whether we blog, work, stay home and eat bon bons (haha) or what have you. I’ll be enjoying my lazy blogging (i.e. not tagging/linking/sharing, no seo-ing, maybe a photo in a post, etc. I do promise to keep using a spell check.)


{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Michelle Primack January 6, 2016 at 1:27 am

I for one will always find you relevant πŸ™‚ Your blog has always impressed me as genuine and from a place of “I need to tell people about this because it’s cool or interesting or funny,” never as a smarmy shill for cheesy brands. I will keep following and look forward to reading your posts, however infrequent. Love you Farrah!


2 farrah January 6, 2016 at 6:33 am

Thanks Michelle- I really want to get back to how it used to be, without feeling censored because of who *might* be listening. Probably something we all do in real life a little bit sometimes too. I swear this 40 is a kick in the pants- in a good way πŸ™‚


3 tina January 8, 2016 at 7:09 am

Hej there, Im a random reader, from Slovenia, my husband is Dutch and I admire people with many kids, love to see how to handle the stress and etc….that’s probably why your blog attracted me … I promise I will come back and read your thoughts, being honest is what counts, writing when you feel like writing is what you should do … Wish you all well in the future and keep blogging, I like it and find it relevant!!! πŸ˜‰


4 farrah January 8, 2016 at 12:28 pm

Tina you just made my day! Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate them more than you know πŸ™‚


5 Aimee January 20, 2016 at 2:58 am

I know you don’t know me from Adam, but I’ve always enjoyed your blog posts. I love to travel and have kids – I found your blog while trying to find decent family travel sites (not very successful). I have always enjoyed your genuine and down to earth viewpoint and I love reading/learning about your experiences as an expat (new or otherwise). Thanks for continuing to be real and I’ll be checking in too.


6 farrah January 27, 2016 at 1:37 pm

Aimee, thank you so much. I read your comment the day you posted it- and apologize for taking so long to say a huge THANK YOU, YOU MADE MY DAY πŸ™‚ Because you did.


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