Five Years Is A Lot

by farrah on October 22, 2017 · 2 comments

In just a few days we will hit our five year anniversary of living in the Netherlands. It’s still difficult for us to comprehend that span of time considering it has gone so incredibly quickly! We’ve loved it- but have also known all along that we couldn’t stay here forever, something that at times I felt downright depressed about being true.

For the first couple of years I couldn’t even think about going back to the US. It was a tough conversation for my husband and I to have – one that most likely never ended well. He made the logical arguments about the boys deserving to live where they’re from, about how one day the contract WOULD run out, blah blah blah. But I lived in denial and truly resonated with the belief that what will be will be.

Last year I grew a little more accustomed to the idea that we would go back- someday. Saying ‘someday’ to people meant by the time the boys were in high school which kind of seemed like a very abstract thought. When November rolled around and I felt shock and disgust at what had happened to our presidential leadership- I once again firmly said ‘We’re never going back.’

Well guess what- I don’t call the shots. I don’t have a say in the jobs that are offered or the opportunities that are presented. I might *think* that I’m the one in charge over here, but in reality- I’m just a mom trying to keep the happy balance safe within the household.

I’m not really sure what has changed within me- be it the idea that I realized fighting the inevitable was futile- or I recognize that the boys are ready and now might be a good time to go. In a more selfish light I have to also admit that I might be ready for something new. To go a place we’ve never been, to own a home once more. To go back, start over and live and learn about a new place.

We’ve got some things in the fire right now- and while I can’t get into what or how or when, I can finally say that wheels are turning and change is coming. We’re all excited, the boys feel the energy and optimism radiating off of us and I can only say how thankful I am that my attitude has turned around. For this to be a successful change we all need to be open to the possibilities, I wasn’t helping anyone by stomping my foot, crossing my arms and saying ‘Hell no I won’t go!”. As if.

So, in the months ahead we plan to enjoy our time in Oisterwijk. This place has been so good to us- and the friends we’ve made I never envisioned. We have much more to see of our adoptive country before we can leave, and I have a few places to see such as Bulgaria and Romania. It’s an exciting time and there’s no need to rush it- a slow goodbye just might be the best thing we can do.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Mike Messmore October 22, 2017 at 12:04 pm

Hi Farrah,

Cindy and some high school friends are planning a reunion in Rotterdam (sp?) in late March. I’m joining her about a week later. I’m guessing you’ll be gone by then, but keep me posted. If you’re still there, we’d love to see both of you and meet your boys!



2 farrah October 22, 2017 at 2:44 pm

I think we’ll be here till the boys are out of school (early July). At least that’s the latest version of the plan and we think that’s a good way to go 🙂


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